Letter to the unknown...

I don't even know u Nd may be never will...dat really doesn't matter m just happy that you are the luck one whom he...cherish him...he might appear or pretend macho but within he still is a silly child! 6years of friendship Nd 3years of relation I know it's a long duration but may be time doesn't matters...I still lost him we had some of the best memories please rewrite them with yours... Don't give him any reason to look back coz it's just gonna break him love his mom more than him she deserves the best! Nd bring uncle back soon coz long distance relation sucks u won't know it now but when college gets over u will! Nimish is one of the coolest and a fast forward kid! He will come up to you with all his life problems plz guide him in the right way coz he won't share some stuff with dk...he respects him a lot Nd doesn't bothers him generally! Last but not the least mau urf Manali Hire is one of the best ladies you will ever meet! She will be there for you when ever you need her! Be the same! She is a sweetheart <3 :="" a="" all="" also="" as="" best="" but="" care="" ex="" friend...take="" friend="" good="" his="" how="" idk="" m="" me="" my="" not="" of="" once="" only="" saying="" span="" take="" talking="" this="" time="" to="" upon="" way="" will="" you="">

Parental issues!

"Dad why don't you drink?" was my sudden question when my dad was busy showing me some whatsapp messages. take a moment and ask yourself can you ask this to your parents ? (of course only if they don't drink!) well being an outspoken kid my questions seem normal to them now! my dad wasn't much shock by my question but it left my mum smiling and her reply was "people are generally happy when they find out he doesn't drinks! what is wrong with you?" frankly my dad is the most honest and genuine person, he said "its not that i have never tried its just that i didn't like and i used to stay at a place where i have seen people in my locality getting drunk and being stupid so may be it never amused me that much!"
you might call me a spoiled kid but i won't lie i do drink occasionally. m not a drunk yard i know my limits i know its effects so m fine with it and so are my parents! a third person opinion never mattered to me! i remember i had my first drink during our Goa trip of 2009 which too was brought by my dad. Goa trip is never complete without a cashew wine! ya its true my parents have been one of the coolest people. from hosting a farewell party for 48 class 7th kids to helping me in planning trips they have always been there. People see our bonding but we never talk about it in fact we never get emotional before each other we crack some silly joke or a stupid comment and ignore it! and a true fact is they will never praise me!
last year after a family wedding we were at one of mum's childhood friend's place with aunty and her family. their house is one of the most cleverly built houses i have ever seen! let that be the terrace gym for fresh cool air with altitude theme, the projector room or 'Devghar'! and yeah they very well knew how to show that off! then they can to the kids section. the Indian parent in them started speaking "Oh, our kid plays casio. come on beta play for them!" they don't end up here then they up with others kid "so what do u do?" my cousin is good at her place and my aunt is too is if you know what i mean!
the war of kids had begun! all this time my parents and i were smiling nodding and only approving fact. when people notice you enjoying the game they expect you to play with them! suddenly everyone was more interested in knowing 'whats special about me?' when my parents were asked this they just smiled and said "she is good." obviously they weren't satisfied with the answer so the question was directly asked to me! i shyly smiled and said"nothing..m just doing my engineering" i too could have blabbered about stuff but was too bored. for them it was awkward my be cause they never met people like us! at last to break this awkwardness my aunt spoke up ya she is good at sketching etc even our kid is... then again the unsaid battle continued about whose kid is the best!
before going my uncle said said to me"this year was tough for you because of jaundice now work hard make us all proud!" everyone smiled.
later on in cab we three were silent. slowly we started talking about the architecture of the place to the boring time we spent. suddenly dad said "we trust you, you gonna be great its just that we don't think there is a need to bluff about it people will themselves see and know it very well."
i always knew my parents were different but that day i realized how lucky i was to be their kid!

Any last wishes ?

yeah its true i don't like being with people of my age simple reason its boring! it mostly ends up with bitching about people and at the end my mind says *food on the way and F.R.I.E.N.D.S would have been a better option right?*
with elders enjoy the lessons of life with lots of love and caring for you. i remember once Pawar Sir told me during PTM (parents teachers meeting) "your life will never be enough for you, for all that you wanna do! learn from others experiences." frankly i never took it seriously but unknowingly i applied it at an early age! it goes the other way round with younger people. you find them fun and of course who does like to be the boss!? you get to tell them the bitter truth that you have learn, share experiences and its always fun to soak in a new point of view!
currently i stay in a working women hostel ie m the kiddo here! i mostly hangout with seniors ie people of age 23-26 who have just completed their masters and now are tackling with new jobs. yesterday when i was helping one of them to get ready for her D-DAY (you know what i mean right?) we started chit chatting about health care and stuff. zumba in trend cause yeah it really works! there is no better feeling than body ache that you get after a dedicated workout and yeah its better than gym where as natural body toning is concern(PS:m not promoting anything just stating the fact but whatever) then i told her about the upcoming guitar class and yeah i so wanna join it! at last i could feel my life going ahead twinkle-twinkle, happy birthday and a raw pani da track! suddenly i found her lost in thoughts and she blabbered i always wanted to learn an instrument and get some vocal training i have no idea when am i gonna do it! i suggested to do it now but yeah i know her current schedule so its hard to fit in something new but yeah sat-sun could be her! she gave me the reason of resting! before i could convince her the other one said yeah i too have a last wish of learning dance from a professional so that i get an outbreak through it! its my last wish...after vacations m so gonna do it!
i was a bit happy for the little positivity in the air (she keeps on saying a lot of stuff so i don't trust her frankly speaking!) but the last wish thing stuck me really hard! i mean they are just 25 and are talking about last wishes! yeah they gonna get married with the next 2 years their further life depends on how their husband will be bla bla bla
m 19 and my mind asked me a simple straight forward Q *do you wanna end up the same way?* there was a reflex reply from with in NO! until now i have learned people cannot read your mind they change with time, things do not turn up the way you expected them life is completely unpredictable! you never know what tomorrow has for you its better to stand up take charge of your own life and do what ever you wanna do so that tomorrow when i reach their age i won't be regreting and talking about last wishes rather i would happily share my experiences and thinking about doing a bit more...

the story of my life

you know life is such a funny thing...

most of us reaching the end of our lives regret the moment we didn't speak up...

we didn't say i love you

we should have said m sorry

there is a time for silence, there is a time for waiting your turn

but if you know how you feel and you so clearly know what you need to say

yo know it!

i don't think you should wait

i think you should speak now!

Taylor Swift

these are some of my favorite line and have been following them since the very beginning. let that be regarding anything! from complimenting strangers to talking about your crush just everything! holding yourself behind is just no me. if you know it you feel it you say it! if you don't know it just accept it and work upon it. but there are moments when you feel people should understand it on your own... why is it every time you need to be told what upsets me ? what went wrong? especially if you know a person for a longer period of time you expect him or her to know you well and understand but what to do when even words fail?

as a person i personally feel i overthink, i over trust and i over expect from people which at the end of the day ends in disappointment. but on the other side i definitely a truthful, possessive and caring. i believe in 2 things appreciation and advice. but criticism and judgement cannot be tolerated by me! i hate it when people say 'you don't even know this much!?' and leave things hanging up in the air. what is this even!? is it 26+1 alphabet or an essential gene coding which everyone should know!? and if you are so interest then enlighten me! i would love to hear something new but appreciate those efforts cause may be in might world this has no significance m doing it just for you!

let time spent together not be all about the effort cause there comes a time when people can take no more of it! when long senseless talks turn shorter ignorance comes in power laughter turns into silence, here comes the need of a break...a break from soaking in, a break from self pity. a break when you feel the enthusiasm, the passion missing! trust me it's never the end. the THE END concept is found only in movie and books we always question what after the prince kissed and the sleeping beauty spell was broken? how did they marry? what did he tell his parents? i just found this doll in the woods! the story never ends there!

the good thing about wounds is they heal with time and they leave scars for you to remember the bad days we lived. scars might look bad to others but we know they taught us a lot of things which we wouldn't have learned unless we experience them. frictional stories especially love stories often misguide us. the together forever doesn't exist! never think of a person to be there on every step with you! even your own parents don't stay till the end! it was all meant to be read and learn from it but we end up expecting it in real life which will always lead to disappointment. may be so people say there is a difference between real life and reel life!

Selfish people out here!

Being an engineering student I would say the use of this phrase is directly proportional to year! I.e. as years pass by this phase is more extensively used out here! And whereas staying with other people is concern you will more often come across it! Well it certainly starts with different people have different priorities and in initial phase people try to adjust but as time passes by thing get tougher to work with!

Before people preferred join families and relationships were above all! (Surprisingly! Even when men and women were unequal! And a women is always empowered when is promoted from wife to mother-in-law but more on that later!) Now a day’s career, money is given more importance staying away from the family for the family bla bla bla. Though the positive side is people come to know their importance! But the main thing is between all this we come across different people from different societies, culture, and background! Let’s take my life for example. I was born in Mumbai (one of my favorite cities indeed) later on we moved to a small town for a dream house in between nature and which meant I had to stay away from home for further education and stuff! It’s nothing that I am damn serious about my career or something! It’s just that m chasing my dream working in lab! Late night work and stuff! Well it’s just a dream still! Anyways the thing is upto date I have stayed with many people! Let that be paying guest, roomies or hostel. And every time I ended up using this phase!

First time I opted for paying guest! Seriously! How can you stay with people around trying to penetrate in your life! Oh yeah you don’t know something about personal space! With aunties always hanging around and keeping an eye on you! Are you jobless? Well that people with penetrating thing is for example an orthodox and unorthodox cannot stay together for long! Anyways even if you ignore it some day or the other it gets on your nerves! And when people around you are not at all sporty weekend tend to be damn boring! Trust me! You feel like getting out of everything! And don’t get me started on the surrounding! When jerks stay around either you wanna kill them or keep distance! Well I kept my distance and went off!

Roomies!!! Sounds fun!! Friends forever!!! Owe your my best friend! We will stay together forever!! Trust me people who come closer near you actually carry the sign board ‘KEEP DISTANCE-DANGER AHEAD!’ never ever fall in their trap! You will not only regret this but will also lose a friend! It’s fun until you party together hangouts and stuff but if it’s always you paying the bill! That not done right? And when people always use your things it’s NOT CALLED SHARING! It’s all bearable until your roomie is the most unclean dirty crap of this world! (Even when you have a boyfriend)

PS: keep your bed however you want! I don’t care but if you dance on my bed with dirty legs trust me I am killing you within! And I love sleeping with books, soft toys and guitar and you have no right to tag it! Because it’s completely mine!

Then came my hostel life back! J Yeah! I have been a host elite in my school life! So was pretty excited until I came to know that my roommate was an old lady! Nah... Generation gap actually! Which made me always call her aunty! So I preferred mam or teacher since she actually was by profession. I always kept in mind Pawar sir’s words “our life is not enough for us so we better learn from our elder’s experience” but she turned it into “elders love taunting you and will use you as a child labor!”

I changed back to a cute ACTING little girl! Trust me when I highlighted the word I meant it and it was true! Surprisingly I can to know about it too late! But that time I had mastered the art of ignoring. Stare at you when you dress up as if some black magic going on in your mind, give out cheap comments which make you kick their butts in your head, taking advantage and being mean to other people even though it’s not of you concern! It really feels helpless when you cannot do anything! All you have to do is concentrate on your work and let people around you continue to be mean! May be one day they would realize! Who cares! I might have moved ahead till that time and may never ever look back! Well now it’s my time to be selfish!

Dedicated to the mot selfish girl I have ever met!

Since I am not full filled removing all my angry out here I will help you recognize her!

1.       Caring at start but as soon as she comes to know you are useless will no longer care even if you are dead!

2.       Always concerned about her stuff even when she could save both boats!

3.       Miser forever!

4.       You will be in her friend list only if you are good looking, wealthy or topper (IIT or IIM will work!)

5.       Will always demand things. (Poor boyfriend I must say!)

Five points are enough I guess! J

Now you know the secret behind my calm and tolerant nature! J

I feel good now!

Oh crap I must say! ‘SELFISH PEOPLE OUT HERE!’

That’s the DIFFERENCE!

Writer! I wanted to be one when I was in school! Now a days there is so much to write but when time permits it feels great to sit down with your laptop and just let it flow…but when you look back, peep in the past, watch the present and think of the future it’s better to highlight the CHANGES before they go unnoticed.

‘Men and women are equal in today’s world.’ Something like this was wrote in my civics textbook. If I am not wrong the last time I studied civics was in school! Definitely I was a small kid with a small brain! I completely was against this line! Some questions popped up in my mind ‘if we are equal why do we have different uniforms!? Why do we use different toilets!? Some girls have a ‘boy cut’ but why dint some boys have a ‘girl cut’!?’ all these doubts stayed the same until we had sex study. Then I actually understood the little creature that made us different was called SPERM who turned us xx or xy rather a pair of mammary glands or a pair of testicles with a penis! That’s the physical and biological difference!

All this stuff grew wilder when ‘rape cases’ started becoming POPULAR. The most surprising thing was the victim was a female always! I know I might sound stupid here but why not men? I mean no seriously why is it every movie I watch it’s just a bunch of men harassing a beautiful women? Why not a bunch of women doing so!? Have this made people think in one direction? I would term rape as ‘unwilling sex’. Doesn’t it happens with men!? As per science urge for sex is 10times more in women. Then rape cases in men should be more isn’t it? But it doesn’t seems so! It’s always a women victim! The only reason that comes to my mind is men are worst at sex all they do is give pain physically as well as emotionally. I guess I am right and that’s the truth!

I remember while a GD on career one of friends pointed out a women in mechanical engineering will end up with desk work whereas men of her field will have field work. Why is it so!? Because she is weak since she bleeds 5days a month!? Or she is cleanliness loving as compared to men!? Whatever might be the reason but the truth is she is 10times mentally stronger and a good decision maker as compared to men. They will never understand this unless and until they experience this!

A boy in his underwear before his mom will not be that awkward you might give a reason that for a mother her kid will always be a kid but a girl in her bra before her dad…ahem ahem I guess you got my point all I got to say is THAT’S THE DIFFERENCE!

Career or carrier of life…

 

Writer! I wanted to be one when I was in school! Now a days there is so much to write but when time permits it feels great to sit down with your laptop and just let it flow…but when you look back, peep in the past, watch the present and think of the future it’s better to highlight the CHANGES before they go unnoticed.

I could have easily names this article RACE OF SPERMS (oh! It’s not only about boys!) Or RACE OF LIFE! But just wanted to be truly myself! And I don’t take life that way! And I am lucky enough to not even have people around to pressurize me! But since I don’t stay on artic or Antarctic environment keeps on changing (there too day and night CHANGES after 6months) oh freak! There is no double why Manuj sir used to thrash me! Bloody weak geography! Climate is unpredictable out there! It changes every time! I knew this from childhood S.s.t isn’t my cup of tea! May be so from childhood I wanted to be everything from a scientist to a rock star but Member of Parliament seemed good only to my ears! You give out one good idea and people here will make you the chief minister! Well all I can say is it happens only in India! Stern faced uncle and sweet chilly like aunties are bigger enemies than Pakistan for the youth! As soon as you come home and find them there! You get a mini attack don’t you? And before you recover you are bombarded with questions like oh you look so big! Which class you are in now? What are your career plans? And answering them is even tough than facing an I.A.S interviewer! The truth is mostly they are half knowledged and then too interested in showing it off! And at the end of the topic it becomes a matter of self-respect for both the teams to prove themselves right! This topic wholesome is an onion! You still have to go through the layers of it! Is your choice of course well known and available in so called TOP COLLEGES? If no then in their mind you gonna end up being jobless! Then comes up how much will you earn? Is it really important for them to figure it out unless and until I can earn a square meal for my family? Now you must have got why I named the article this way! Oh wait! Don’t breath off! They are not yet done! This is just 50% of the complete torture! The next one starts with your exam score! Which according to them rates your mental capabilities! Trust me! In this segment even your truth ends up in an EXCUSE BOX! The best option is to nod your head to every shit to get out of every shit! After all this mess it comes to your head ‘I don’t care what people say!’ but when you stay in a society the truth is do care somewhere or the other.

This is only a square but in reality life is a 3 dimensional structure! Things get difficult when such mentality lies in our family! They are the toughest when we bound our self by narrow domestic wall! Just step aside for a moment and look around. How many are doing what they wanted to? One second what about you? Are you doing what you always wanted to? Are you enjoying what you are doing? If all these questions turn around and asked back to me! I wanna be honest purely!

I have a friend who always wanted to opt for aerospace who lived in stars and planet from childhood but just cause of few marks he couldn’t! (Surprisingly his class 10^th and 12^th score is 98% and 95%)! But today he is happily doing electrical engineering, editing his college magazine, member of street play bla bla bla. So what should be said? Have he learned to compromise? Or our primary and secondary education system is not so well built to make students discover themselves? May be only he can answer this!

Some of my class mates took an year off cause they felt they could do well in it but due to certain personal reasons they couldn’t. from which again some backed off and tried to satisfy themselves with their 1^st attempt marks(may be cause of EXTERNAL PRESSURE). One of those some who attempted 2^nd time couldn’t do well! And here his hell initiated! Even after 2 years of studies how come you get such a score? Don’t you think you wasted your father’s hard work? What are you going to do now? All this made even a strong heart weak! It lead no where but a suicide attempt. Suicide or GANG MURDER? Mental harassment.

There are very few who stand back and face the world. It’s not that they don’t care what the world will say! It’s just that they used it in the right place to ignite themselves! Just like my best friend who made me sit and write this complete article.

Frankly she has a weak heart! You don’t even need words just your harsh tone is enough to make her cry! She always wanted to be a doctor! Her complete inspiration was her elder sister. She had grown up in an environment of biology completely! A girl for whom math’s was always nightmare can you believe she had to take up engineering just cause of low grades? Nothing much different again took place! She again had those low grades! Her class 10^th 96% haunted her to buck up! Things turn worst when uncles and aunties press your wounds. But those were actually fames of her torch! She stood up back and got things done her way. And as I say her patience is awarded today she is in one of the top colleges doing her degree in microbiology! And math’s no more haunts her!

Career the carrier! It’s always in your hands, you choice whether you want a pricky uncomfortable seat or a soft sofa like comfortable seat